I need to stop being in such a bad mood all the time D: My feels have been all over the place lately, with extreme highs and extreme lows with rarely anything in between. This wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t experiencing the lows all the time. Well, 2014 and it’s time to change things since I’ve been at a standstill for too long.
2013 in retrospect
Here were the major things that happened this year that I think were the highlights – and by highlights I mean the important parts, not something exciting which is another definition of the word. This year was heartbreaking, boring, went super fast, had no real accomplishment whatsoever and was just basically a waste of time – and mostly due to work overtaking my life. I really want 2014 to be a better one.
- Went to Canberra. It was my first trip in many many years on a coach, and I must say, I had fun. Probably I left the trip with more questions than answers which bothered me for quite a while (even until now), but the main thing was that I did have a relatively enjoyable time. Met a few interesting people, and basically went on a short trip that was different to any other trip I went on. It was good.
- I lost my dad on February 25th 2013. He had a difficult time and struggled health-wise for many years. We had a hard time facing this fact – in fact it’s hard even now. We miss him so much. I used to have many dreams of him being healthy when he was still with us and hoped that one day when I woke up he’d miraculously be back to normal – like how you watch those 7:30pm shows where normal people tell stories about meeting someone with special healing powers and cured their chronic illnesses. I’m sad that he didn’t open his eyes to see me one last time, but I’m grateful he waited for me to be home before he left us. I can’t imagine how I would feel if I came home later and missed him during his last moments.
- Took on a lot of responsibilities at work and from then on to me, it was disaster. Don’t get me wrong, I’m good at what I’m doing, but whether or not I’m enjoying it is completely a different matter.
- Heard so much news about engagements and stuff that I think my eyes are going to fall out from envy. I heard news about someone getting married probably at least 5 times this year… it’s getting annoying because I’m nowhere near that stage of life. Will I ever get married? Ah, something I don’t even want to think about when I’m still single and miserable.
- Optometrist had some bad news about my eyes.
Honestly, losing my dad had the biggest impact on me. I couldn’t sleep well, felt guilty if I did sleep well – couldn’t get used to how quiet and empty our home was. I lost a shitload of weight because I didn’t want to eat. It took me about half a year later for me to actually start gaining back weight, believe it or not. Work was number two on the list and it has engulfed my life to the point where I’m at the rage/quit line. 2013 was not a good year for me.
My 2013 resolutions and what I managed to achieve:
- Save up half of my annual salary at the very least and be wiser with money. Maybe for this year I will only buy one expensive item only and just have that only for the entire year.
I actually managed to do this, I think. I’m actually not sure if I saved up half of my salary or not because of a few complicated things that happened this year that meddled with my calculations, but I only really bought one expensive this this whole year and stuck with it – and it was a Chanel Grand Shopping Tote, which I did not blog or publicise about, with the exception of an Instagram captioned along the lines of “what’s in the box?” though I never really said what was inside. There were times when I was tempted to buy something else, but times have changed and things just aren’t the same. Things are really expensive nowadays (I know I’m not making much sense), to the point that it’s not worth buying. I’ve also discovered jelly shoes, so I can completely throw my idea of a designer shoe collection away (for now). I think I’ve got more than 10 pairs of designer shoes and to be honest, they wear out and are not really worth it unless everything you own is designer so you rotate your shoes to keep them all looking brand new. Anyway, I’ve digressed – next!
- Go interstate once, go overseas once. At least And perhaps a road trip. Who knows?
So I went interstate once (Canberra is in the ACT), but I didn’t go on a road trip (the furthest was err, Homebush so that’s not really a road trip) and I didn’t go overseas due to plan fall outs that were completely beyond my control. On the upside, I save money.
- Get a pay rise. Again. And it’d better be a good one lololol.
I think I did get a pay rise (note the word usage of “think” because it’s been so long I can’t actually remember – if not it was so insignificant it’s almost negligible). But the point is it did happen – as for whether or not it was a good one, no comment.
- Meet more people, perhaps get myself back into the rhythm of things and start seeing people.
I tried. I really did, and it was in the first half of 2013. Even though I was usually depressed and feeling like it was the end of the world maybe 4 out of 7 mornings each week, I still pulled myself together and out of the home so I could actually see life outside of my room. I did write a bit about being heartless/ sarcastic and my “I don’t give a shit how you feel” attitude and how I wanted to change it… unfortunately yes- oops, I did it again.
I must say it was really not my problem. I don’t want to go into detail, but all I can say it, things happen for a reason. If you don’t treat me with respect, don’t be surprised if I confront you. I don’t like to sugar coat things, because it’s just not my style.
- Do more beauty posts.
You can say I kind of forgot I made this resolution, although you probably could tell I subconsciously remembered because I keep mentioning about making more of these. From memory I did maybe about 3 in 2013? I don’t remember. I should have done more, because clearly that’s not enough.
- Stress less, be healthy, be stronger.
Funnily enough, I really did keep up with this. I looked out for my eating patterns, visited my dentist on time, made sure I did exercise and keep things under control. My end of year visit to the optometrist was something that will probably change my way of thinking for the next few immediate years – yes, eyes are important. And yes, you need glasses even with a relatively low prescription like 150-175.
- Start looking for investment opportunities this year.
Didn’t do this at all. Though I did switch my savings account to a high earning interest one.
- Visit a beach at least once (because I never go to the beach).
Didn’t visit a beach… at all!
- Get a massage. (Resort, anyone?)
… nope 😦 That went down the drain along with my overseas holiday.
- Spend more on home improvements, rather than the usual stuff I buy.
I sort of did this. Yeah, let’s say I did this.
10 resolutions for 2014
- I’ll stick with the same tradition – save up at least half, buy only one expensive item.
This is going to be difficult since I’ll be the one paying all the bills from now on – let’s just hope I can manage.
- Go interstate OR overseas.
I don’t think this is going to really happen, but it has taken me about 24 years to realise how much I actually want to go on a trip or holiday. I keep saying how it’s a waste of money and time since I’m not a person who likes foreign things, but after watching 1 Night 2 Days and seeing people actually happy experiencing new things, I think it’s worth a try before I grow old and miserable.
- I’m not sure if I should be writing this, but I really want to find a new job. At the moment my situation is a bit of a mess. I’m frustrated, stressed and I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m not sure if I’m ready to move on, but it’s worth a try. I’ll give myself 2014 to make changes if opportunities come up, because I can’t make peace with myself until I’m satisfied with my work conditions. It’s difficult working in a position with little support (they make it seem like there’s support, but as you probably can gather, it means nothing) and having to deal with so many things with questionable authority. It’s becoming a stage where I am no way rewarded for my usual work – which is fine, except it has been like this for too long, and I get the blame as soon as a teeny bit of something goes wrong. And that teeny bit of wrong has either got nothing to do with me, or I already brought it up and cough people forgot that I brought it up cough. It has reached a point where I am lethargic and no longer really looking forward to going to work. It’s time to move on.
- Maybe I should reconcile with people I’ve flipped tables on and meet up with people I really haven’t seen in the past year or so. I know I keep saying it and it doesn’t really happen, but hey, it’s the thought that counts for now. When I have time and I’ve sorted out my problems, I’ll definitely get that sorted out. I need to make ME a priority – and that’s probably the hardest thing for me right now.
- Blog at least once every 2-3 weeks.
- Be healthy, stress level to zero. I aim to have no migraines in 2014.
- Take up a new hobby of some sort. Not sure what, but it’s worth thinking about.
- Do one home renovation.
- Cook more.
- Take better care of my skin.
I spent my last year of 2013 at home doing nothing, and did the same for the 1st of January, which was probably the first time or perhaps second time I didn’t have to work on that day. It was the only day that my workplace has decided to close for the day which is out of the norm. I’ve had quite a few troubles on my mind about work recently and it has been the main topic that I’ve been internally debating about. I’ll write more about it when I find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh, and happy new year 🙂