I’m not really sure if this is my sickness coming back or if it’s just the bad weather. I suspect it’s the bad weather and that it’s my sinus acting up, rather than coming down with the cold and all the funsauce-not- associated with it. Yesterday was fairly unproductive but I got a few things started. Nowhere enough considering I want to print this thing off TOMORROW NIGHT. Nothing on the sheet so far. I guess I’m a bit luckier than others because I’m capable of doing stuff on Photoshop with relatively little difficulty. I want to get this done! I still have a large model to make (I’ve made one building!) but the thing is, I’ve already made 2 smaller models already. That means I’ll be coming in with at least 3 models. I might be a bit hardcore and make 5, but maybe for next submission (means I need to spend more/ buy balsa – damn).
I’m just not really feeling the stress for some reason. I really cared about design last week but then when I realised that a lot of my problems were solve-able, I kind of jumped off the stressmeter. I was more stressed yesterday: felt sick. did little work, and everything crap that could possibly happen came tumbling down. So much that I only did 30 minutes of hula hooping too. I kind of just got tired and decided to call it quits (also I was asked to change a lightbulb at the 30 min mark, so when I got back I completely lost my momentum).
Oh feel free to skip reading this section. This is just me writing to myself to remind myself why I’m torturing myself. >_> If you’re looking to lose weight though, you could probably read on and question yourself the “necessity” of losing weight.
You’d think that it’s a bit ironic that I’m losing weight and generally you see on TV like on the Biggest Loser they’d say something like “oh after losing the 70kg I never got sick once the year I left the show! Back then I’d get sick all the time!”
This is why I was so reluctant to lose weight to begin with. Back then in high school I would literally fall sick maybe 5 times a year and I was particularly susceptible to the cold and flu virus. When I started to actually gain weight when I started uni, I felt like my immune system was better. I’d fall sick maybe only 2-3 times max, and in the previous year, just once. The sickness is slowly coming back to me. Only this time I’ve got my fingers crossed and I’ll take better care of myself and actually get fit and have a better immune system.
I guess one question that some of you might be wondering in your heads is, “if you weren’t even remotely overweight to begin with, why put yourself through all this?” – in fact it’s something I ask myself occasionally. Yeah, I was never overweight, and people didn’t really consider me being chubby either (though the photos I saw of myself I thought it looked pretty questionable). In fact in the top banner I’m the one with the black one shoulder dress with fluoro colour blocks.
I think this all has to do with a self esteem thing. I think I will look better and feel nicer if the weight is lost. Another thing that I encountered in the past few years (which I thought was rude) was people (namely male) making bad assumptions. I was told by someone who had never seen or met me in person that I had gained weight just because of one single photo. I didn’t know how to respond, and I never bothered to because I figured I shouldn’t let someone who has never even seen me to even judge me. I learned to ignore comments like that (though I only got one other one which really annoyed me, comparing me to a photo I took about 6 years prior – isn’t that somewhat remotely ludicrous?).
Now I’m just going to put my foot down and make a positive change in my life. If I see those jerks who made those comments to me (hopefully never in my life) I can tell them to shove it.
For any guys who are reading this and know a guy or have made comments like that to a girl concerning their appearance in terms of body image, I just wanted to let you all know that your comments are highly insensitive. You might think it’s a joke or a suggestion, but to a girl that will stay at the back of her mind forever. Especially in my case, my BMI was only ever as high as 21.5 – yet I got senseless comments like that. I don’t deny that some girls ultimately deserve harsh comments because it will do them good, but in my case, it really was unnecessary and has put me in a state of paranoia. If I don’t exercise for a day I panic; I’ve drastically cut down the amount of calories I take in each day – I’m still eating what I want, but I make a conscious effort to make sure I burn it all off and feel like my stomach is empty before I go to sleep.
I’m so paranoid about my appearance now that it even pops up in my dreams. I was just having a casual conversation about hair colours and last night I had this epic dream where I was colouring my hair, but didn’t have enough time to leave it to set, so when I washed it out the colour still wasn’t right.
To girls who have slight waists at 26″ or less and with BMIs around 21.5, you honestly don’t need to lose any weight. You need to tone, but not lose. Ignore any insensitive comments, and as hard as it is to ignore them and pretend people never said them to you, I managed to do so for at least a year. You can do it too, but make sure the changes you’re making to your lifestyle are positive, not extreme.
It perhaps would have been a better idea to take my own weight loss slower (3.5kg in 2 months is a lot, as slow as it is) so it wouldn’t have impacted that much on my life. But I’m the type of person to want to see results. If I don’t see results there’s little incentive for me to want to work. Even if they’re bad results, they’ll motivate me.
I have a lot of work to do even though my BMI is in a good range. I just want to let everyone know that you need to have a strong and good reason for dieting and know where to draw the line. Don’t do it in an unhealthy way. Exercise, eat – work it off. Drop your calories so you eat until you’re satisfied, but don’t ever starve yourself or leave yourself hungry. Treat yourself to something you love eating once a week. Take photos of yourself and reevaluate where you stand – sometimes looking at a photo is different to looking at yourself in the mirror.
Sometimes it’s good to just sit down, and think about your motives for losing weight. If you can justify it apart from “I’m fat” – then continue. Please look at your measurements, BMI and think about yourself in terms of a healthy perspective. Compare it to an idol if you must, but take into account their height, body frame and the fact that their profession involves spending every single day working hard to look good. Have a target weight loss. Consult it with a friend or someone (even on soompi if you must) and other people will give you a more realistic evaluation of what you’re trying to do. Simply put, stay focused but don’t get carried away. You sometimes just forget where you’re at. You just have to slow down sometimes in life – this applies for everything.
That’s all for today 🙂
Let’s mix up the routine!
Gym/ Cardio workouts start from June (late June), and I’m excited at the prospect of going to a dance class! Yes, M???
Next semester’s worload will considerably drop because I have 6 less units to complete (did them in the holidays 2 years ago), which leaves me a LOT of time for other stuff. I’m really excited and can’t wait for this semester to be over so that my life can be more normal next semester. You don’t know how happy I am at the thought – we’re talking 4.5 years so far of gruelling deadlines and workloads.
The best part about the dance classes is that they’re affordable and I bet they’ll be super fun. It’s one of those things you consistently have to turn up for (learning a dance routine for instance) so you can’t skip a single week. That makes me happy 8D Better than going to a gym because you have the option of not turning up. You waste your money though lol.
Let’s do it!
I’ve been meaning to do it for a while, but never did because I didn’t want to go alone to a beginner’s class *facepalms*. My friend from uni occasionally does dance lessons, but she goes to a different one to the one I’ve been considering. So yes, the more the merrier? I really want to nail this this winter holidays.
I browse on Gumtree as another site that I must go onto each day nowadays. If I find something good I will tweet about it, just in case if there was anything that you possibly were looking for. I only tweet things that I think are worthy of buying in terms of price. For instance, I saw a Holga 120 for $75, which is sort of alright, but I didn’t tweet it because it’s 2nd hand and you can get a brand new one for cheaper online. Just things like that.
I really need to sell my oversized pants. Holidays Dx Guh.
Thanks to Ramille who dropped off 3 rolls of film to me the other day 😀
Still feeling a bit jipped because they forced me to take their moolah for my film >:\ I’m SO GONNA SNEAK THAT BACK INTO C’S SPEEDY!
Unfortunately the weather has been sucky so I haven’t managed to get any great shots. If they were any shots they’d be rays of light poking through the clouds or maybe a really bad looking sunset lololol. Anyway, I’ve taken 3 shots so far – 2 of sky and one indoor shot (just to see the lighting conditions). I’ve tried to double expose the photos, but I don’t think it worked because it didn’t click lolol. I think it will take a while for me to know how to.
Otherwise the manual camera thing is all smooth sailing. I’ve never owned a manual film camera before, so it was interesting. The instructions were fairly easy to follow. I’m more amazed that when I turn the film thingy the turning thing knows when to stop! I sound like such a n00b.
Only thing – when I get the film developed I think I’ll just get them printed as well, photographic prints. I don’t trust their scans because they will scan at a low resolution. I’d probably get better quality scans if I scan it myself. I’ll ask them and see how they scan their photos I suppose. Take it as it comes >:3
I’ll blog about it when I get my first roll done. It’ll be full of pics. YEY 8D
Alright, concentration is dropping. It’s hooping time. Then it’ll be lunch and hardcore concentration on design presentation. I can do this! See you all for my next procrastination post 🙂 Oh – PS: will definitely be doing nails of the week again this weekend. I think.