3 things 8-8-09

3 things that made me unhappy:

– Did too little in the time I had.
Why am I such an excellent procrastinator?

– The meeting for tomorrow is possibly postponed until later…?
Oh gosh… please no. I don’t want to be there for long. But the good thing is that I’ll go there early anyway and do my own work. I don’t want to waste any more time at home – and believe it or not, I’m wasting time because I have slow net. Can you believe it or not! If my net was fast, I’d at least be able to procrastinate a little faster… lol. I’ll scan in my heavy book. I’ll do research. Just whatever!

– I am lying to myself, and woke up to an unpleasant dream.
I wrote earlier about being relieved after the “ending” I was waiting for. But suddenly so many things flash before my eyes (mentally). I know I can’t forgive so easily, and I definitely need time to forget. It’s not exactly easy… nothing is. I just really need to keep moving and keep replacing my memory bank with more worthwhile memories – memories where I can think back and smile and laugh, in my own style. Ever since I was a kid I would suddenly burst into chuckles late at night, even if I’m just sitting there. I think of the good things – funny or amusing, and I end up chuckling. I still do it often while I’m awake in the late hours of the night and early hours of the morning, but lately when it’s just only me, I don’t do it any more. I keep thinking of things I don’t want to remember.
But at least lying to myself is better than lying to someone else, or having someone lie to me.

3 things that made me happy:

– Richie Rich!
OMG the good days when movies were good. Simple, memorable, and well done – I don’t understand it with high Hollywood budgets and having nothing more than a few superficial effects on screen. Like they say, original is always best – and I think I’ll have to agree… some of the older movies are so much better than movies these days…

– Music.
I’m a fan of Gary Cao – and I like his new album (the 4th, being “Supermarket”). I’ve had it for a while, and I’m just listening to it again. I also listened to Deg’s “VULGAR” earlier today… it brings back some great memories. I mean, if I’m not feeling young right now, at least I have the music to take me back to that kind of feeling I had before. The music was so great to me then, and still is. I’ve stretched wider and more mainstream, but I haven’t forgotten those great days.

I’m going to slam my hand onto the table on this one. Next relationship I happen to fall into (if it ever happens), I’ll think more than three times. Not to say I don’t think three times, but I’ll just have to think it over and over. I’m narrowing down my range, and for good reason. Some of you might know what I mean by this, but for the love of all things cuddly, someone who can speak my language and is from where I’m from. Also, no more from that field of study – I’m starting to really dislike that field of study, and if I meet another student from there, I’m going to go insane. For once I want to be in a relationship where people can look at a photo and say “hey they belong as a couple”. Actually typing this made me more unhappy than happy, but I will be positive.

And for those who ask “what about those people..?” please do not ask – it’s not a good question to ask. It’s not as simple as that >.> The answer will come up within the next few days in a private post.


One thought on “3 things 8-8-09

  1. The unfortunate thing about lying to yourself is that you will have to awake to reality sooner or later and the sooner you pull yourself out of it, the sooner you can go about being fulfilled just the way you are. I am a hypocrite when I say this, but I’m sure you’re well aware of it too.

    I love Richie Rich too! 😀 He’s such an awesome kid, wouldn’t mind being his friend 😛

    As for relationships, I guess it’s good that you want to be specific in what you want in your future partner, but you do have to still keep an open mind and not be too cynical, yeah? I’m with you all the way and I’m intrigued as to why things are as simple as they’re meant to be. Keep me posted.

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